| <<  PISSED OFF mode >>
...i dunno why i'm still feeling this stupid thing, since this was so over ago, but because of the recent events, it just got lodged back into my mind again, and i'm so weirded out and annoyed and confused and deppressed and it totally SUCKS. 
so here's the story: well... i'm one of the staffers in our school paper, and last year, my position was literary editor. and this year, a lot of the positions got vacant coz the other staffers graduated already, and those positions include the ed.-in-chief, assitant ed. and others. well.. i'm not bragging or anything like that, but alotta people were telling me that i was a sureshot; that i was gonna bag the job. i didn't get my hopes up w/ all that stuff they're pushing me w/, coz whodahell knows what'll happen, and besides, i'll just get disappointed if it turned out that i wasnt got picked for the position........ but i guess i also kind of admitted it to myself A BIT, that if someone was gonna get picked for that position, it'll be... err.. like me or something, coz, err, the others arent really that qualified, and i was like their superior when it comes to writing stuff (again, i'm NOT bragging, im just telling the truth).
so this year, we started our schoolpaper, held auditions for correspondents, coz we were real short of them, and got some. it was all looking good, and everyone was already teasing me, calling me "chief" or "eic" or other crappy things, but i just ignored them. 
then one day isang araw, i was w/ my gang hanging out, when my guyfriend, who's also my costaffer, told me our classmate got the eic position. this classmate of ours, she's an honor student, really intelligent and all that, but the prob is, she's a NEOPHYTE when it comes to schoolpaper writing... i mean, she's good, but she's really not cut out for the job, almost everyone says that. i was not really shocked w/ the news, but after a few moments, it suddenly hit me real hard, and i got a bit bummed. my friend told me that even SHE was shocked when she was told by our schoolpaper adviser that she was the eic! but that's not all.
when she got the position, i was like suddenly left out from all the work. they didnt tell me that we have meetings, didnt tell me what was happening, what we were planning to do, etc. one our first meetings, it was from my seatmate that i learned that we were gonna have it, and if she didnt ask me what i was doing inside our room when she thought that we were having our meeting, i wouldnt have known. WHO THE HELL WOULDNT GET ANGRY W/ THAT?! and if i wanted to know if we have meetings, or if i just wanted to get updated w/ our work, i'd have to ask, or it'll never reach me. wtf.
i dont have a thing against her, coz she's a good friend of mine, we really get along well and we've got so many things in common. but i'm just pissed coz its all so unfair, the whole schoolpaper-staff-thingy. who wants to be left out w/ their works?! it's so unfair. U-N-F-A-I-R. and i dunno what to do. if i ask her or the others what's the problem, maybe they'll just think that i'm just dissapointed coz i didnt get the job or what. if i confront her, it could turn out that i'm just imagining things. or worse, they may think that i'm kinda getting insecure, which is SO not.
this is all so getting stupid. i wanna quit. *cries*
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" ........
...we just whiled away the whole afternoon by not listening to our teachers' endless drones. nothing much happened,... but my jaw really aches.
and then...well nothing much happened this mawnin, just watched a coupla ballgames, and then i went home... and i was supposed to go to this internetcafe at 2 in the aternoon, but when i got home, i ate a little and then i said to myself that i was just gonna sleep a bit... and then i woke up at 3! tsk3x. hehe.. well i still made it to the cafe, saw my classm8, and since there was no vacant, i didnt surf anymore... and after an hour me and my fwend went back to school... and the first thing that my moronic classmates do is capture me and my other classmate who's my dumb love team and set me off to that horrible loveydovey booth to get our pics taken!!!
